Managing depression with a toddler and a newborn

I have been doing well managing depression with a toddler and a newborn. Much better than I ever imagined I would after having C. Don’t get me wrong I have had my down days and days of doubt but I have found having a newborn baby totally different this time around.   Whether that is more to do with my mental health being better or the fact C is a much easier baby I’m not 100% sure.

I have noticed a pattern that I definitely find the day harder after a night of broken sleep. I’m no stranger to broken sleep, in fact, I think I would find full nights sleep more strange. However, when the children decide to tag team me on their wake ups it’s HARD. I think I saw every hour on the clock from 2 am the other night until J woke at 6. Individually they both sleep well. Well as well as an 11 week old and a 4yr old who still wakes occasionally.  I struggled the day after but stuck to my plan of an early morning gymnastics play, I would have much rather stayed in bed but we all know that’s not possible with a 4yr old.

I am finding that having the routine of the nursery at the beginning of the week is much easier than the randomness of weekends. I know C will get a decent nap in the car travelling to and from school, compared to being at home when I feel like I’m constantly telling J to use his quiet voice. C use to sleep through anything but now she is getting nosey as has FOMO ( fear of missing out).

I am still taking my tablets which I can tell are helping as if I forget to take them then I slowly notice myself going downhill. I find when this happens I get really irritable and have no patience.
Overall I have enjoyed having a newborn so much more this time round and then I find myself suffering from mum guilt. I can go from playing with c and feeling so happy that I could burst, to feeling sad that I never enjoyed J as a newborn in the same way.  I never really understood people that said they loved the newborn stage as I hated it.  I feel cheated by my depression that I will never get that time back.
I still have my moments when it all gets a bit too much for me but I would like to think that it is just a normal everyday parenting reaction to getting screamed at by a grumpy baby all day, or because you are fed up of asking the same question for the 80th time that morning.

One comment

  1. Plutonium Sox says:

    I’m so glad you’re coping well this time, all your posts have been very upbeat so it seemed as though you were enjoying it. Don’t worry about the mum guilt, we all get it. I didn’t really enjoy the newborn stage either.
    Nat.x
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