Siblings ….

Part of me has hesitated in writing this post but then the other part of me wants to write down how I feel.

I’m sure I’ve written before about how we really were not bothered what gender  bump was.  However, now that we know bump is a girl part of me is sad that it’s not a boy. I also find it really offensive when people say ooh one of each when they ask us as if we would have been disappointed if bump was another boy. 

Before having J I could imagine myself having one of each gender, mainly because there is my brother and me so that’s the norm for me . However, when we found out we were expecting again I suddenly had this idea in my head that I would be a mum to boys. My husband is one of many boys and a few girls. So when I pictured J growing up I always imagined him having that brotherly bond with his sibling. We live on the same road as my husband’s brother which means we see them quite often.  I’m not saying that J won’t have that sibling bond with a sister but I imagine it to be different.

J is so awesome and mischievous that I honestly can’t imagine having another child like him. Yes, he was a nightmare baby, however, he has now grown into such a polite well mannered 3 yr old boy with the most amazing personality.  I’m sure once baby girl is here I will see that she will grow up awesome in her own way. I’m sure she will amaze us with her personality as she grows and I will look back at this post and wonder what on earth I was worried about.

I do feel guilty for feeling sad bump isn’t another boy, it’s not like I didn’t want a girl and I am over the moon as I have such a close bond with my mum that I hope to have the same with my daughter. In the next breath though I hope to have that same bond with J even when he is older. 

I do worry that I will struggle to love bump as much as I love J.  Its hard to imagine sharing that feeling of heart melting, about to burst feeling of love.

 

4 comments

  1. Lynn says:

    I don’t comment on many of your blog posts but I had to on this one…. Bless you, all of this is completely normal, I had you for 5yrs and 4 months before your brother came along, and I had many a sleepless night worrying that I couldn’t love another child as much as I loved you, there couldn’t possibly be anymore room in my heart to love another child the way I love you. Well believe me there is, I love your brother just as much, and you complemented each other perfectly, you teaching him, him looking up to you. I had guilty moments when you were at school and he was at home with me, but you were amazing with each other (and still are). Just for the record, I saw myself of mum to two girls!!!! I’m extremely lucky the bond I have with you and it’s the same with your brother. I love you both unconditionally. I’m so proud of you both and the adults you have grown up to be. You are a fantastic mum, wife and daughter (but I’m biased)
    Love you
    Mum xxx

  2. Plutonium Sox says:

    Aw bless, I totally understand that. I actually always wanted two of the same gender – so if my first had been a boy I’d have felt the same as you, wanting another boy. As it turned out though I’ve got two girls and you are so right about that motherly bond, I’ve got a lovely bond with both of my girls and wouldn’t change them for the world. And just look at that comment from your mum, that is the sweetest thing I’ve ever read. How lovely that you and your mum are so close that she reads your blog and gives you such sage advice. I think that mother-daughter bond is evidenced right there. And as for loving the second child as much – you will. I’ve got a different bond with my second child, the eldest is very sensible and grown up. We get on almost as friends. But the youngest is a bit of a wild child, hard as nails and never to be messed with – and yet she is still my baby at 2 years old and it’s me she always wants, nobody else will do. You will be a fabulous mummy of two, just as you are an amazing mummy of one. Enjoy the last few weeks of being mum of one though, when baby is here it will seem like you’ve always been a family of four.
    Nat.x
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